But I believe that sometimes there are more than just that 1 open door. That's where free will kicks in. You choose which door you feel is best. And no matter where that door leads you, you stay committed to Christ. Well, what happens when it seems all the doors in every direction are half open..where do you walk then? My mom always told me that God doesn't give us a Spirit of confusion, but a Spirit of peace and confidence. I believe this too.
The confusion that takes place so much in us...ranging from confusion of doubt in Christ to confusion of life..is one of Satan's biggest battle tactics. We're in a war, granted God's got the victory, but the spiritual warfare continues on this earth. Satan is going to play our weaknesses. He's going to try his hardest to get us on his side.
I'm finding out that you really can't defeat those thoughts, doubts & confusions on your own. I thought I was the strongest ever and a few days without my Bible reading was fine...but that turned into weeks and weeks into months and now trying to get the ball rolling is so difficult. Tom-E taught us how to pray to want to want God. Get it? To want to want him...it's so true.
And not just the parts that we pick and choose we want of Him, but all of Him. "You cannot take out the parts of the Bible you do not like. You either love Jesus and everything he says or don't love him at all." -Mark Driscoll. If we're going to accept that He loves us, we also have to accept that He's going to protect and discipline us to stay away from the worldly things...which we don't necessarily want to do sometimes. But when we constantly and genuinely fill our Spirit, He's all we want.
I've made it to that point in my life and unfortunately fell from it, but am begging Him just to help me back up..as if He hasn't already done enough for me. But things like this remind me that He's closer to me than ever: Yesterday morning I was laying in bed again just battling my confusion. And because I'm a girl, I cry because I get so frustrated sometimes..any who, my mom comes in to check on me and talk. She gets up to walk out and just read me a random verse off my encouragement board that said " The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:14. God just used her and he's been showing me in different ways how close to me He truly is...even though I can't seem to grasp it during this dry season.
People, we're all in a battle. Whether you struggle with doubt, confusion, disbelief, purity...anything, we're all in this battle together. But to choose the victorious team is a decision thats backed up by confidence, strength and freedom. That definitely, has no confusion or doubt about it.
In Him,
Me!
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