Today, Austin Burnham & I celebrate an entire year together. I don't know if that shocks you as much as it shocks me... Austin and I met back in 2014, when I was his small group leader. Yep...
When Aus graduated, so did our friendship. We had always clicked super well with our similar personality types, but never did I EVER see this relationship coming. Plus, if you haven't done the math yet, I have 4 years on him. And an inch or two. Close friendship is what I saw and what I believed for us. Then March 10, 2016 (ish) happened.
Aus and I had our Thursday night Green Market tradition. There's a balloon animal professional who goes from table to table... this night in particular, I got a tiara and he got a crown. And with that stupid balloon crown on his head, he looks at me and asks what I think about our relationship becoming more than a friendship.
I think time stopped for a minute or two. I kind of panicked. I had no solid response to that. In my opinion, the odds seemed to be against us, but I have always admired Austin's relationship with God, so I couldn't just brush this off. That night, he prayed. And for the 4 months following, I prayed. Everyday. Prayed for external confirmations from God. Prayed for clarity on what He was leading me to do, along with some strength and confidence to follow through.
YOU GUYS. The next four months were some of the craziest of my life...
In March, we walked around the Dunedin Marina and at the same time, we pointed out this one specific boat. I thought it was cool looking, he was probably just copying me. We walk up to it... "Why Wait". Who name's a boat that...
In April, I was still living in my doubts and confusion on the whole thing, and I made up my mind to talk to Aus that night to tell him I wanted to just remain friends. But God redirected my mindset when I walked into work that morning to see these letters everywhere... We just so happen to have a wedding that day at the club between a Matt & Ashley (or something like that).
That same month, Austin went camping with a few friends on this random island off the Dunedin Causeway. As they're on their prayer walks, he's talking to God about us. A storm rolls in and the guys take cover under a tarp, seated on a makeshift driftwood bench. Aus looks down at the bench to see my initials carved next to my best friend, Allie's. We had been on this island years ago, on the same makeshift driftwood bench.
So it's getting weirder and weirder. In May, we're on a causeway date and find a wedding ring buried in the dirt. In June, we fasted over the relationship and took a 3 week break from each other. During that fast, the same woman sat behind me every Sunday in church. So finally the third Sunday in, I realized she was a prayer partner. I went up to her and told her I think I was supposed to ask for prayer from her over the Austin thing. Without knowing a thing, she stops me and says "Whatever it is the Lord is telling you to do, regardless of what people may think or what society view you may be holding onto, you need to move forward". And then proceeds to talk about her husband not being the type of guy she normally dated, but ended up being everything she needed to fulfill some of the missions the Lord has called her to since they've been married.
After that conversation, I had come to a point where, if I asked Austin to remain a friend, I felt like I was walking away from a calling. So when we came back together, we had Christmas in July, made Christmas cookies, and saw each other for the first time in 3 weeks. I was SO NERVOUS opening the door!!! That night, I told him all the things and our relationship continued, just with a lot more confidence and certainty and with an official title.
I've had a year with my best friend. And it's been great, it's been hard, it's been challenging, but my favorite, it's been countercultural. It's been wholly God's. We worship together- knees on the bedroom floor with Bibles, journals and a Crowder playlist. We pray together- every single day. We make mistakes together- still trying to understand and learn each other. I've had to stay Godependent to be in this relationship, we both have. And in my opinion, that's the best place to be :)
More on the handsome man later,
I love you, Aus! (not that he read this. he hates reading...)
<3 this Madison! Love that you guys fasted and prayed about it! Just awesome!
ReplyDeleteIf we actually believe that this life is for Jesus, I can't imagine not doing either one of those things over any decision. Ya know?! Not in our own power, dude!
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