Stranded

I've been stranded for about 8 hours now. Panama City airport got me to Atlanta airport, just to sit & wait for Delta to say "we're overbooked, try again tomorrow". So in the middle of my flesh-driven frustration, I have to admit that I focused very little on what God had planned with all of this. 

Now I'm settled in my hotel room, and I look back at everything that went down today & have no one to blame but satan. Friday & Saturday is the middle school girls event & the Lord has led me to plan it. Why would satan want the woman with the plan to be there?  He sucks. But at this point, I know he wants me to be discouraged. He wants me to be overwhelmed, and I learned this past week that the only overwhelm we should have, is being overwhelmed with victory. That makes me smile. 

Romans 8:37 "No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us"

With this down time, beautiful room and MOST COMFORTABLE BED EVER...my Lover has brought me here to focus and recoup and love on Him. This weekend won't be able to happen without His power and in the mess of planning, I was soon to forget that. My Lover brought me here to really show me what He has planned for this weekend and even has shown me some of the things I missed over the past month that He's done for me! I am so grateful, thankful, blessed, amazed, joyful and full of chills that He has this divine romance all planned out already :)


So, I have yet to be home for the past month. Traveling all over has been amazing and every trip has been so different. 

This summer, I had the opportunity to go on the Engage mission trip with our middle schoolers. If you know me, you know my heart for my middle school girls. They are MY LIFE. And I've missed them so incredibly much these past few weeks. We had the time of our lives at Engage. There's something about working for the Lord that is just so fulfilling and so overwhelming! 

Belize...I don't even have words for this trip. It was such a strengthening week in my walk with the Lord. You really can never finish growing. I was once prayed over with these words, 
"Lord, show Madison that even though physical food is important,
being spiritually fed is what keeps her alive."
The more spiritual food..the more growth. These 2 weeks in Belize provided so many opportunities to share God, learn God and just feel the Lord's movement! It still gives me chills. Belize was beautiful. We snorkeled with sharks & sting rays. Scariest moment of my life. We went muddin like no other Floridian has seen before. We hiked more than anyone's ever hiked before. 








AH! Since my charger is with my luggage in Tampa already, my computer's dying, BUT! I can't contain this love. One last thing...Right before I thought I was going to bed, He said this,

"I will deliver you from every evil attack and will bring you safely into my heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever!" 2 Timothy 4:18. 

He stranded me to love on me,

:)

His Story

Sometimes...most times...we get distracted with our stories, our life, our goals. I was blessed with a reminder tonight that I'm part of not just a bigger story, but THEE story. A story that I'm called to live for, a story that has been going on since the beginning of creation. Who am I to think for a second that this story has anything to do with just me?

Accepting Christ is God empowering one with the Spirit. I'm not given this power & this Spirit to boost me up in achieving my own story. That's like taking a box of pizza to a homeless shelter and eating the whole thing on the way there. This empowerment of the Spirit, is not meant to be taken selfishly. So with this Holy Spirit inside, we run! We have accepted to play this part for God. Being who He calls me to be, living where He places me and doing what He asks of me. 

When we surrender, we surrender it ALL because when we accept the Spirit to live in us, we accept it ALL.  

The thing that's so awesome about God is that no matter who He calls me to be, or where, He's constant, never changing, always loving. And although this is His story, He's still gracious enough to be faithful. Jeez louise, this isn't even my story and He still wants to love this broken and sinful character. God makes my heart melt; my Ultimate Lover makes my heart melt. 

He gives me the chills and He overjoys me like nobody else. He shows me a true & genuine relationship & lovership. When 2 are joined together, nothing else but the true light of Christ should be seen. And even though I feel like this is my love story sometimes, ultimately it's His. I think that God's story book doesn't have chapters. The story that He's writing is so great and powerful that there can never be even the tiniest break to start a new chapter. He just keeps going and going. And the thing is, we can see this book being written! When have I ever had the chance to watch a brilliant author write his book!? (...Well never, because I hate reading:) and watching that would be like watching paint dry to me.) But God's God, not just an ordinary author.

"These people (early church) were seeking to engage on what God was doing & as they engaged on what God was doing, God showed up & did incredible things" -Todd Nighswonger

All I have to do to be in this story, is to accept Christ, be empowered by His Spirit and engage, become a part of His movement! For me, the first is checked. The second is checked and still learning about the empowerment and the third is a work in progress. Constantly praying, "God just show me where you're working" 

Working for Christ is fulfillment. And again, this isn't my story, but being apart of God's story fills me up, how selfless, faithful & loving can one God be?! 
Romans 5:5 "For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with this love."


God, why did you write me in this story of Yours?

the Sky Has Freckles

God is at work in Belize!!!

Backtrack to Monday and hear this news!...Since I knew I was part of this trip, I've been praying for God to give me opportunities to share His name and tell people how genuine and amazing my Lover really is. Boy, has he blessed that! Tuesday night, about 6 of our group members were out front of my loft hanging out. Out of nowhere, the God topic comes up. Guys, I had the opportunity to really share Him!! And I mean hands down, complete silence in the room, open ears. GOD MOVED. And this time it was different...sharing God with people really has nothing to do with the knowledge you have OF Him but the love you have FOR Him. That love is really what shines and gets peoples' attention! End of the conversation, this boy comes next to me and says "Ya know, I used to know & feel what you're feeling" And from that night on, God has blessed me with so many more opportunities like this, it's crazy! 

In a group full of atheists, naturalists, you name it...my faith is growing deeper & stronger and I'm falling more in love :) 

OH! Dinner time was a HUGE blessing as well! One of the girls sat next to me...one who is very ambitious and motivated and adventurous. Turns out, she lives part time in India and is a HUGE activist for sex trafficking. We've been brain storming and plotting and learning from each other. How awesome our God truly is!!!!!

THEN! when you think He can't do much else...He listens. I've been having a bit of discouragement being the only one here that really knows the Truth, so that's been on my heart. Well, a surprise professor ended up coming on the trip so she can learn how to lead one and she's a believer! She's a Christian and very much in the Word and puts the Lord before anything & everything & everyone. It gives me chills just thinking about how God took care of me so quickly!

The past 2 days, people have really started to confide their stories in me. The Spirit inside of me has given them this grand welcoming to share their hearts. That is nothing of my doing, I don't even know that me just as myself without Christ would want to listen, but we are all just souls with bodies and I've been given the answer to completing my soul. Listening and sharing is just the most incredible thing God has put into this Spirit. I'm so thankful. 

So Tuesday begins...we visited a Mayan ruin (one that I won't attempt to spell out). I can't lie, it was SO boring. Until we got to climb:) 150 feet up in the air sat this very ancient eroding Mayan building... one where royalty lived. We got to the very top and I've seriously never seen anything like it. From the top, you see all green. You see Belize and Guatemala.  You see beauty, everywhere, wondering how the lost can't see God. I couldn't help by just smile, knowing that all this beauty was hand crafted by my Lover! Getting down was the worst thing ever. The stairs...weren't really stairs and it was more like pieces of rock to climb down. So thankful for Dillon, he slowly stepped ahead and encouraged me the whole way down. 

Next up was canoeing. It's not the first time I've gone canoeing but it's most definitely the first time I've gone canoeing with monkeys climbing throughout the trees next to me! :) Again, just the beauty of God's work is breathtaking.

Mmmm, last night was a night hike in flip flops and early pass-out. And! I learned that the sky has freckles. The stars here are indescribable, Florida doesn't do our night sky a justice.  

This morning was beautiful, like all the others. Walking in the cold, up to our outside dining area surrounded by trees and rain forest...so out of the norm for me. Breakfast was amazing. All the food here has been the best thing I've ever tasted..!!

Today consisted of a HUUUUGE, beautiful cave and another hike through some boring ruins. But! Again...climbing the ruins was an amazing feeling. Getting up so high on such little steps is such an accomplishment!! Getting down is scary, but I don't think about it :)  I just try to stick next to somebody who looks more retarded than I do climbing down! 

Next up was this big watering, swimming hole thing. There was one little waterfall and a bunch of mini rapids to go with it. 4 of us ventured off to find the length of the river. As the 3 made their way back, I stayed put at the top of the waterfall and had the opportunity to finally just be alone with my Lover. Yes, He's always with me, but the alone time with Him has had to be minimal. We sat for a little bit and headed back:)

Theeeennn....church with Mrs. Tut. To be brutally honest, the speaker and the worship was AWFUL! But, regardless, the Spirit was alive in that room. It didn't matter how bad everything was, the Lord was just movin'! I made an adorable little friend named....And then! Another God moment, the speaker gets up and says "We're speaking about love. Turn to 1 Corinthians 13" God literally JUST taught me these verses in depth last week at the Engage conference with my middle schoolers! ...Whom, by the way, have come up atleast 5 times a day:) So the man goes through 1 Corinthians. And I don't know if it was just me or the Spirit moving, but I felt led to go ask Him if I could speak with him. He was a very monotone, strange man. But we ended up speaking to the pastor as well who asked me to come lead the youth night Saturday night!!! How awesome is our God! His Spirit inside of me is moving and growing and loving, I'm so excited!!!

God has blessed me with a lot of amazing conversation already this week. Tonight, the other Christian lady and I got to talking about relationships. We swapped stories and she really encouraged me because she's so happy to be married. Most people aren't. And I really have been starting to limit God when it comes to that part of my life. I've been completely satisfied with the idea of being a very independent woman of Christ. This could be the plan for me, but I also need to be open to God bringing a man around. I guess. I still struggle with the idea of ever letting any man back in, but if they genuinely have the Spirit, then it shouldn't be a heartbreaker because it would all be to the glory of God.  The way that I see it...we're called to be a light in the darkness. So I picture all christians walking around as light bulbs and when 2 light bulbs get together, they make it 2x brighter. THIS is how relationships should be. And I won't ever settle for less again. The more light, the less dark. Hm, nice concept God :)

So all in all, the food is AMAZING.

Yesterday our guide said to me, "When I'm talking, you shut up" & it was rude.

This boy keeps asking me to tea when we get home.

My professor has officially adopted me.

I take my pillow in the van everywhere we go.

I bought stuff.

THE LORD IS USING THIS SOUL

& I'm so complete :)

Sell Tacos, Not Children

Day 1 of Belize feels like day 24 of Belize...bittersweet.
Bitter due to the muggy, humid and extremely buggy weather.
Sweet due to the friendships that have already been formed so quickly and the amount of times God has reminded me He's with me.

Waking up this morning was traumatic. 4:30 came too early. My ride's power went off so he was no where to be found. My mom missed the airport exit. My bag was 6.5 pounds over weight. The "SPC Student" sticker on my luggage gave the desk guy permission to tell me his life story for 10 minutes. There was no Starbucks by my gate. I couldn't sleep on the plane because it was too crunched. I finally got comfortable on the Miami airport floor and it turned freezing and woke me up.

Satan can play hard. But my Lover plays harder. From there on out, I somehow ended up in conversations with every person throughout the day about their beliefs. God opened my eyes to these peoples' hearts and thoughts and I'm so thankful! He gave me opportunities to tell some how happy He makes me!!

Then, He started to show up even more...bringing comfort and encouragement my way. I ended up sitting next to a group of people with shirts that said "Sell Tacos Not Children" so I got to talk to these child labor activists about their mission! Then! a team of soccer players pass by with a Hebrews verse on their shirts...more encouragement! Finally, I saw God in the blue shirt mission team. I don't know their names, but their shirt was blue and it said "mission team" on it! Just a reminder that I'm on my own mission trip and to stay strong.

After landing in Miami, we stop at the Roadside Diner. AMAZING food. and get this..my Lover paid for me! Oh what a blessing:)

Next stop was the Belize Zoo...what a sight. I saw animals I've never seen before and got close to the most exotic things. How..exciting..We got to drip sweat, smell bad and yawn our way around the zoo. My favorite animal, up close, however, was the leopard. I couldn't help but stare at it and think, God how did you even think of that design? They're so beautiful and so unique, their spots..colors..design, is just so breath taking.

Next stop was the resort, we hiked swam and got into our rooms. I was blessed with a loft assignment. God really does know even my littlest desires!

The food is wonderful. The people are already family. The views are indescribable.

OH! and I got a boyfriend. 12 year old Jeronie! He asked me on a date night to the tower to look at stars. How precious:)

Bugs are killing me, ...survival of the fittest.

my Lover, keep me goin'! Amen.

Injection

Day 3 of the middle school mission trip! We've been working on a Christian retreat house for girls that have gotten in trouble or just simply don't fit in their homes. It's the same idea as a youth ranch but the power of the Spirit behind that staff makes it something completely different.

Today, we had a chance to hang out with some of the girls. Girls with crazy pasts and tremendous testimonies! God has used these girls to teach me the most simple things and I'm so thankful! I was blessed with the opportunity to grow closer to one of my girls that I've been teaching since 08. She had a stroke years back and lost the ability to use her left arm. But can I say that I have never met a girl with so much confidence from the Lord and so much thankfulness in her heart! Today we went off the side to read some of Matthew together! Matthew 5:14-16 was key in our study.

"you are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, it is placed on a stand to give light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, so they can see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

If we make no effort to affect the world around us, then we're of very tiny value to God. If we're too much like the world, we're useless. We shouldn't be blending in with everyone but instead affecting others positively.

How...how do we change the world? How do we impact and affect and revive?! It's as simple as this...

LOVE. It's a 4 letter word that we overuse and complicate and watered down. 1 John 4 tells us that God is love. So with that, if we don't know God, we have no clue what love is. In a letter to the Corinthians, Paul explains what real love is. We have turned these verses into lovey mushy wedding services, our speaker pointed out tonight. But can I tell you this...Paul wasn't intending it to be for 2 lovers but rather for a group of believers that we're performing "good" deeds for their own selfish gain. Paul is simply telling these people, hey you're not acting in love. If you were this is what it would look like...
Patience, kind, does not envy, does not boast, not proud or self seeking, it's not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs, love rejoices in the truth, it always hopes, trusts and perseveres.

Love is sacrifice. This is when I realized how much we water down the story of the cross. Do we even realize that a man who was perfect and complete left his comfort place in heaven to come here to save you? And to save me? We should've been on that cross! That is nothing to be taken lightly. Just because it's history gives us zero right to not recognize the Truth!

I have been searching for a peace providing, all consuming love and this week, God has pursued :) that's what I call a love story!!

So let me spring this prayer on you...God has really laid it on my heart to write. I'm still praying for confirmation, but I think I'm being called to write something big, a book maybe? So all through worship, I prayed. The speaker comes and goes and 1 last worship song ends the night.

However, I can't stand. I felt this empowerment to write and write. I didn't know what, so I just went with it.

"so when it seems that God is not close and my doubts are really kicking in and love in my life has come and gone..HIS love has hope. HIS love NEVER fails, gives up or runs out on me, even if everyone else does. I have God and He is all I need to fulfill this life and my purpose and His plan. He guides with His love, His love is empowering and overjoying. His love answers. His love pursues. When no one else will complete or fulfill you, that's God screaming CHOOSE ME ! Love is not just a feeling, not the butterflies in my tummy or the cheesey smile that won't go away.
Love is an injection of the Spirit! Love is an injection of hope, kindness, patience. Love is something way beyond the butterflies. Love is more real than anything we can imagine. Yes, let's complete the love checklist, patient/kind/not self-seeking... But the only way we can begin to make love a lifestyle is through knowing our Savior. Let's share this genuine joy and this TRUE LOVE that only God can provide! Accepting Gods real love is a choice. And so is settling for the norm and just letting love be the tingling in your toes. No more dull love life. Love is way more exciting than life portrays!!! My Gods love is real and powerful and it's accepted...by little ole me.
THIS IS REAL!"

Let the Lord inject His love and His spirit into your life. I can only picture emptiness and depression without this Love,

:)

Satan Tries

Spiritual warfare is a major deal in this walk with Christ. Satan... the world.. Sin...the opposing team and they're up for anything to throw us off our path, even in the smallest bit.

Tonight was our first session at Engage, middle school mission trip. Ohhhh how powerful worship was!

"His love...overwhelms and satisfies my soul. And I never ever have to be afraid"

God poured into me and just reassured me He was by my side to be my strength this week for my girls. He was next to me, painting confidence all over the Spirit inside of me. That genuine joy, the one you can't get anywhere else, took over. I can't help by smile or praise or love !! Nothing in the world can break this joy.

I promised myself id be truthful and completely open in my blogs, so here's the end of my story. It probably sounds dumb,

Roaring like a Lion was the next and last part of worship. Trent and I would blast this song, windows rolled down, hand motions and all! So with Satan whispering in my ear that I lost my best friend, I started hurting, again. And there went my joy.
People, God is faithful!! "Madison, you have been set free from this hurt, from this pain. Dont you dare let Satan make you feel this again"

Spiritual warfare is no joke. But it's up to me who wins the battlefield of my thoughts.

I'm part of a victorious army, gosh darn it! I refuse to let anymore moments from Satan be even somewhat considered. He plays our weaknesses and our struggles quite well. But do we focus on that? Or the fact that Jesus already did the suffering for us..

Now that's love.

I Don't Need You

and you don't need me. We forget that no person in this world is a need of ours. For me, I love people. lovelovelove. I love being around people and meeting new people and learning about people. But when it comes down to it...nobody you meet can fulfill you. Nobody can make you whole. Nobody can completely heal you, mend you, fix you. No guy, no best friend, no lover...except the Ultimate One. 
Normally, I break into talking about how great my Ultimate Lover is...how His love letter to me takes up a whole book and how his comfort surrounds me when I let myself recognize it.
But instead, I'd like to inform you that people in the world suck. Everybody will let you down, even the closest to you. You may run into a few best friends who back stab you or a couple boyfriends that aren't what they make themselves out to be, you'll probably run into a few family members that disappoint you and a close at heart friend that will hurt you. Can I tell you why? Satan owns this world. But just because the world is his, doesn't mean we have to be. The world teaches us to hold grudges against these people that hurt us, break our hearts and plot against us. The world teaches us that once one friendship fails, the rest are all going to disappoint us. Or that once one boyfriend fails, all the rest are going to be pricks, also. (sorry) I've had the chance to speak to a lot of hurting people and just meditate on the seed of pain, the comfort of our Lover and the forgiveness and grace of our God. He has not only shown me healing, but has given me the opportunity to open peoples' eyes to His healing. His healing is the ONLY way we can be made whole and complete. Nothing or nobody in this world is going to fix you. 
For the past little bit, I've relied on one of my closest friends to provide comfort and healing and reassurance in my life. He cared after me and loved me and watched out for me! Oh Lord, I am thankful for him!! But let me say this, I was looking to the wrong man to be my healer, my fixer. Because as much as this friend did for me, in the overall scene, it just distracted me. This was my deceptive heart telling me I was healed. 
GOD HAS TO BE MY HEALER...you'd think I'd understand that as many times as I've heard it,
"Don't look to the right or to the left, but keep your eyes on me. You will not be shaken, you will not be moved. I am the hand to hold, I am the Truth, I am the Way. So come to me, come to me. 'Cause I'm all that you need"

God is my Ultimate lover, healer, forgiver, peacemaker. I never ever have to be afraid, His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. The world WILL fail you, they will give up on you and God only knows who in this world will run out on you. "Don't let your happiness depend on something on something you may lose." C.S. Lewis.
PEOPLE! God and His Word and the Holy Spirit...we could never lose. We just have to be ready to rely on the Word and the Spirit to act when the world throws hurt at us! This is acting like Jesus would. This is not getting even. This is not reacting like the world tells us to... This is forgiving. This is showing mercy & continuing to love. 

Forgive like Jesus forgave & love like Jesus loved. We have a path to walk in this life, and sufferings are only tiny rocks in the way. 

PRAISE GOD!!!